more like katherine than you would like
by Peace and Love831
Summary: elena goes to check on damon again...not as harsh as the title may make it seem like...SEQUEL to pretending but you dont have to read that one to understand this one...will have a delena HEA in a later chapter
1. Chapter 1

"So you and Rose loved each other" Damon just looked at me like I was on crack.

"Please Elena, we didn't know each other long enough to love one another, but I do admit that I started to care about her, but it was never about love"

"What was it about then" he just rolled his eyes at me and slouched a little in annoyment

"Why do you care so much" how can he even ask me that

"Because damon, I'm your friend" he seemed to get a little angry at that

"Well you know what, I don't want you to be my friend" that caught me off guard, and I flinched back at how much hearing those words hurt. I shake my head at him

"You don't mean that" please don't mean that

"Why are you really her Elena" he said in a tone that held anger as he went to get himself a drink

"You know why. I want to make sure that you're mourning her loss and not bottling up all your emotions like you _always_ do" he downs it all in one gulp and says

"Well if you know what I'm going to do, then what makes you think you _being_ here is going to change anything" he says getting even more annoyed. I walk closer to him

"Damon, you need to learn to let people in, let _me_ in. You shouldn't be closed off all the time, it's not healthy"

"That's where you're wrong Elena, opening up is what's going to get me killed" I shake my head in disagreement

"Think about it, I opened myself up to Katherine and she says she never loved me, that it was always Stefan, I opened myself up to you, and you do the same thing, I opened myself up to Bree and she tries to have me killed because I made a mistake, which I guess I deserved, and then I opened up to Rose and she dies, which is my fault. I cant take it anymore, Elena. The hurt is just to much to handle."

I can see the hurt in his eyes, like he is about ready to break "Damon, I'm sorry for all the hurt you are going through, I wish I could help take it away, but I promise you, one day someone _will_ love you, all of you, the bad and the good."

"You didn't" I want to tell him that I do, but I'm not ready to take that step yet, and even though I'm not with Stefan I know it would hurt him if I went out with his brother

"Damon…" I reply but he interrupts me

"Don't Elena. I always wanted to know that if I showed someone who I really am, if they could love me for it, and because of you I finally found out the answer. So I guess I owe you a thanks for clearing that up for me."

I could see that he was on the verge of tears. How do I always manage to hurt him when I try not to. I see him down another glass of bourbon before he went to put his jacket on.

"what are you doing" he looks at me and starts to walk away

"I'm leaving. I've had enough of this sharing and caring moment" I follow him outside, starting to get angry

"why do you always leave when things get serious, when you actually have to admit that you feel. Do you have any idea how hard it is to talk to you, without you turning your back and walking away" he turns around and has a smirk on his face

"well if it's so hard and frustrating, then why do you bother" I stare him in the eyes, not backing down

"because Damon, I lo…you're my friend and I care about you" with that he glares at me

"well don't. I don't need to share my feelings, I don't need to have someone care about me, I don't need family and I don't need friends…and I don't need you" my eyes start to water at hearing him say that, but I keep them back before they fall

"Why are you being so mean" in an instant he is right in front of me staring down at me

"what about you, you're the one lying to yourself and everyone else about how you really feel"

"Damon, we've already been through this" he takes a step back and nods his head "ya I know, it's always going to be Stefan, but you're not even _with_ him now" he comes in even closer this time

"say it" I just look at him confused "say you don't love me. If you say it and make me believe you mean it, then I will leave it alone, and I will never bring it up again…so SAY it" I know I should say it, because of Stefan, but I just cant bring myself to find my voice, I cant lie to him, not now, not with him looking at me like that.

"that's what I thought" he brings his hand up and pushes some of my hair behind my ear and goes to stroke my cheek "you want me to talk about my feelings, but why should I, when you don't, at least not about what you really want" I know he's right, I've fallen for him awhile ago, but I couldn't bring myself to admit it, so I buried those feelings deep down, and now I don't know if I can deny them any longer.


	2. Chapter 2

A lot has happened since Damon and I had that conversation, like Stefan getting stuck in the tomb, Elijah not really being dead, and then Stefan getting out of the tomb and me and him getting back together again. That was a week ago, and this whole time I couldn't stop thinking about Damon.

"thinking about me" _yes_

"No" he gives me his famous smirk that I hate so much "liar" he comes all the way into the parlor and sits next to me on the couch in front of the fire.

"so I take it Stefan is out riding the world of evil bunnies" I glare at him, always with the bunny jokes

"so, you miss me" he leans in a little closer to me, making my heart beat speed up

"Damon, I'm with Stefan" he shakes his head

"you're with him physically, but emotionally, you're with me" I know he's right, and I know he knows I know he's right

"I know you don't want to hurt my brother, but if you're not all in it, and the longer you wait to end it, just because you don't want to _hurt_ his feelings, you'll just end up hurting him _more_ in the long run"

I know what he is saying is true, but I don't know if I'm ready for that yet "Damon, I've said it before, I _wont_ be like Katherine"

"you could never be like Katherine, not really, but if you don't choose than you're more like her than you want to be" tears start to roll down my cheeks, and he wipes them away.

"The one thing she could never do was make a choice between us, and right now your doing the same thing. So if you want to break that cycle than you have to make a choice. If you choose Stefan than I'll leave town and you'll never see me again" I shake my head at that, I don't want him to leave. I cant picture my life without him in it.

"…because if you're going to be with Stefan, then you have to be in it fully, and with me around, _well_ we both know that I'm a distraction, and I know that Stefan doesn't want me in the picture"

"I don't want you to leave" I cry

"I don't want to leave either, but I cant stay and watch you be with Stefan. It hurts to much, especially knowing you want to be with me to. And knowing the only reason why you're not is because you don't want to hurt Stefan. I guess that means that you don't mind hurting me" before I can comment on that he's gone. Gosh I hate vampire speed.

He's right though. Either way Stefan is going to get hurt, because eventually he's going to know that I'm not fully committed to the relationship, and I'm not only hurting Damon but myself to, all because I cant be honest with myself. That's all going to change. The old Elena wouldn't do this. She would go after what she wants and not be afraid. I guess it's time to talk to Stefan.


	3. Chapter 3

So now I am waiting for Stefan to get home, pacing back and forth trying to get up the nerve to tell him the truth. I can't be with Stefan if I'm secretly wishing he was someone else. It isn't right, and I know that.

"Elena…" I jump not hearing him come in, I turn around to see Stefan.

"Hey, Stefan. Can we talk" he looks at me curiously and nods his head. We go to sit on the couch and we turn to face each other and I grab a hold of his hand. So here it goes.

"Stefan, I love you and that will never change" I see his body tense up and his eyes go hard "but…" he replies

"We have been pulling apart for awhile now. We're just not what we use to be" Stefan pulls his hand out of mine

"so what are you saying Elena, you want to break up" my eyes start to water and I look down at the floor for a second before responding

"I'm sorry Stefan, but yes I do. I have feeling for someone else, and these feeling are stronger than the ones I have for you, and I cant be with you if I want to be with someone else" Stefan stands up and starts pacing "I'm so sorry, I don't want to hurt you, but I cant keep going on with you, when it's not what I really want. That'll just hurt us more later on"

He stops pacing and stares down at me "it's Damon isn't it" I cant find my voice so I just nod my head. I jump when I hear him growl. I look up at him, and I have never seem him this angry before.

"You know you look like Katherine, but I just never would have thought you would end up being like her to" I flinched back feeling like I just got slapped in the face and the next thing I know Damon's got Stefan by the throat pinned against the wall.

DPOV

"She is NOT like that bitch, and I _never_ want to hear that come out of your mouth ever again or I will _end_ you, you hear me. I never meant it in the past and you never believed I did either, but you should be smart and believe that I mean it now" I increase the pressure around his neck "she did what that selfish _whore_ never could; _choose_. You're just upset because now _finally_ someone doesn't think you're the better choice"

I release him and he stares me down "You finally got what you wanted. I bet you're really happy now, that you were finally able to take her from me"

I shake my head at him "I didn't take her from you, she made the choice all on her own. I would never force her to do _anything_ she didn't want to" he continues to glare at me "but I wont lie to you and say that I'm not happy, because I am" he glares even harder

"just take care of her, or I'll kill you" and I know that if I ever hurt her, I would let him, so I nod my head and then in an instant he is gone. I turn back to Elena and see that she has tears in her eyes. I walk up to her and hold her, shocked when she doesn't push me away but just holds me tight.

"are you ok" I feel her nod her head "yes, now that you're here. I just feel so bad for Stefan" I stroke her hair "I know, but he'll be ok. Just wait and see" I reply, not really sure if I believe it myself.


	4. Chapter 4

**I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO FROM HERE, SO IT COULD BE FINISHED, OR IT COULD TAKE ME ANOTHER FEW DAYS TO THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE TO ADD…LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS…IF YOU WANT TO SEE MORE, LET ME KNOW…IF YOU THINK ITS GOOD WHERE IT'S AT, TELL ME…THANK YOU**

After Stefan had left, it was getting pretty late and I was starting to get tired, so Damon and I went upstairs to go to sleep.

I woke up to feeling someone staring at me. I open my eyes to see Damon's beautiful confused blue eyes staring back.

"You ok" I ask and he looks down at the sheets.

"Is this real" I heard him say, barely above a whisper. I look at him confused.

"what do you mean" he looks back up at me and starts to caress my face

"I cant believe you chose me. It seems to unreal to even contemplate being reality" I look at him with sad eyes

"Damon, this is real" I put my hand on his chest "trust me" he shakes his head a little

"I think I might be dreaming actually. You _could_ be a dream. That seems more realistic" now I shake my head

"Damon, I know that I said it would always be Stefan" he flinches a little at my words "but I only said that because I was trying to convince myself of that"

"I mean it definitely could be a possibility. I've had _plenty_ of vivid dreams of you with me before, so this is probably most likely a dream. Ya, I'm going to go with that" he continued like I didn't even say anything

My laugh pulls him out of his thoughts "This is _not_ a dream" I lean in to kiss him. It starts out soft and sweet, but then it gets more passionate and aggressive, until I have to pull away for air.

"Are you sure this is real" I nod my head "good, because if I wake up to find out that it's not, I'm going to kill my brother" I laugh again before I turn serious

"You're not dreaming. I'm with _you_ Damon, it was always you. I love you" he smiles at me, mumbles an I love you to, and starts the kiss where we left off.


End file.
